Merry Christmas Darling
by hiddenspikes
Summary: Elena has sunk further and further into her depression after Stefan makes a deal with Klaus to save Damon. Determined save the woman that he loves (even if it means from herself) Damon swears to do anything he can to make her okay again. 12 days of Christmas songfic
1. Forget December

Merry Christmas Darling

Chapter 1- Forget December

 _ **On Christmas morning, outside was pouring All was hopeless in this home And no one's speaking, no one creeping to see if she was on the phone And you were quiet, this routine riot was all but practical to mean if we see it, why can't we beat it can we let each other be? Forget December, it won't be better Than I remember it beforehand this month only, will be so lonely and not so holy anymore**_

 **\- Forget December by Something Corporate**

Elena Gilbert groaned as she collapsed back against the couch in the Salvatore living room, her eyes drifting to the fire that was crackling cheerfully in the fireplace. She hated it. This was usually her favorite time of year but ever since Stefan had taken off with Klaus she wasn't quite sure what to do anymore and the holiday cheer that everyone was feeling when she wanted to scream wasn't helping her any. Swearing softly she looked over towards the windows, hating the show that was gently falling outside, the Christmas tree that had been put up at Caroline's insistence and the overall feeling of holiday cheer that was settling over the town- she didn't want to be happy; she just wanted to be allowed to mope and continue looking for Stefan (despite him telling her not too).

Over all she was just in a foul mood and the dark haired man that walked into the room whistling jingle bells under his breath wasn't helping any.

"Come on Mopey, time to get moving." He quipped, sitting down on the couch and swatting her thigh. Elena swore at him, narrowing her eyes into a glare- Damon had been trying to get her out of the house and to do god knows what since the day after Stefan had left and it was starting to grate on her last nerve- she didn't want to be happy or anything remotely like that, she just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts and her guilt. Hell she would settle for being left alone in general but Damon was having none of that, as usual, "Come on, the town Christmas party starts in an hour, time to go get ready." Elena rolled her eyes at him, figuring silence was her best weapon and looked pointedly down at her PJ clad form- she really had no intention of going anywhere and sooner or later he was going to get that through that think skull of his. "Barbie and Judgy are worried about you, you really need to get out of the house." If she had heard it once she had heard it a million times and she did as she had done every other time, she shrugged turning to glance once more out the window. She scowled slightly as she remembered that the snow really wasn't helping her mood any, her hand tugging the blanket off of the back of the couch to wrap about her body, it felt like no matter what she did anymore she couldn't get warm. Letting out a slow breath she drug her legs up to her chest, resting her head on the knees, choosing instead of focus on the fireplace. "Come on Elena, you know that Stefan wouldn't want you to be acting like this- you're practically a hermit." She continued to ignore him, knowing that sooner or later he would get fed up and walk away from her, it happened every time without fail, she just had to wait it out long enough. She wondered, as she found herself wondering a lot, why he bothered- why he didn't leave her alone to be miserable, it wasn't like she wasn't asking for it. Damon sighed and finally gave up pestering her, leaning back to lean against the couch as well, his eyes focusing on the lights on the tree.

He was starting to lose hope that there would be any pulling Elena back from the edge of her depression, not that it seemed like she really wanted to be pulled back. Gone was the happy-go-lucky girl that he knew, that he loved and in her place was a shell- and it was all his fault. If not for Tyler's bite, Stefan would have never been indebted to Klaus and as much as it killed Damon to see the two of them together, Elena would be happy. Letting out a slow breath he turned his head to the side to look at her, wishing that there was some way that he could fix thing, wishing that he could trade places with his brother- give Elena the happiness that she deserved, but life was never fair and what had been done was done, there was no changing it. Caroline and even Bonnie had tried to pull her out of her funk and it seemed like no matter what anybody did she just didn't want to snap out of it. Damon swore and pushed his fingers back through his hair before standing up and walking over to the window and tugging the curtains shut over the cheery wintery scene outside. He paused a moment, debating going to get a drink but instead slinked back over to the couch and sat down next to her, choosing instead to focus on the lights on the tree.

"Why are you even here Damon?" She finally questioned, not even bothering to look his direction. Damon paused, only briefly before he answered, wishing that he had gone for that drink that he wanted before he had to have this conversation, but since he was unwilling to leave her alone, not even for a moment it wasn't an option.

"Because I love you." He admitted, keeping his eyes firmly on the tree, "And while it really fucking sucked to see you with Stefan, I would rather have him here and you happy with me suffering then to have things the way that they are now. And since this is all my fault anyways I will be here every day doing what I can so that when Stefan comes home you're still here for him." He snorted softly and raked his fingers back through his hair, his tongue darting out to lick an overly dry bottom lip, "I may be a selfish man Elena, but even I have to draw the line at some point. It's because you are the woman that I love that I will do anything and everything that I can to fix this." Elena was quiet for a moment before she was jumping to her feet and whirling around to face him.

"Bullshit!" She finally snarled with more emotion then Damon had seen from her in the weeks since Stefan had left. "Every single one of you have been walking around on eggshells since he left. Sure you all act like you're doing everything you can to make me 'happy' again but it's all bullshit! You all want me to forget him, to let him go and it's not going to happen." Chucking the blanket that she had wrapped around her body at him she shook her head, "I am going to find him no matter what any of you say and if it's the last thing that I do because that's what you do when you love someone, you never give up on them and you do anything for them." And then she was turning sharply on her heel and storming out of the living room, the sound of a bedroom door slamming not a few minutes later. Damon flinched as the door slammed, he didn't want to fight with her that was the last thing that he wanted. Glancing at the fireplace he let out a slow breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, steeling his fingers. She was right and he knew she was right, you do anything for the person that you love- and that was why he knew that if it was the last thing that he did he was going to find Stefan for her.


	2. December is for Cynics

Chapter 2: December is for Cynics

So to hell with Holiday romantics  
December is for cynics  
December is for critics  
Let's get by on Nyquil and hibernate  
December is for cynics  
Damn, it's too easy being great

December is for Cynics- The Matches

The house was silent when Elena finally managed to drag herself from Stefan's bed around noon the next day. In the hallway the door to Damon's room was open, something that didn't occur unless he wasn't in it, the kitchen wielded the same results, he wasn't there. Pouring herself a cup of coffee and leaned back against the counter, wondering for a moment if he had just gone in to town for something. It wasn't often that she had found herself alone- since Stefan had left Damon had been a constant presence by her side, only leaving her when she managed to lock herself in a room-like the bathroom and even then he was usually waiting in the hallways for her. As much as she bitched about it she had come to rely on him being around, just his presence offering comfort. Pouring a second cup of coffee she worked her way into the living room, settling down into what she had deemed her spot on the couch.

Grabbing the blanket off the back of the couch-she still couldn't seem to get warm- she drew her legs up to her chest, her gaze settling onto the wintry wonderland outside. Damon had opened back up the curtains before he had left in the morning, the soft light of the day filtering in through the floor length windows. She let herself zone out while she waited, blankly staring at the falling snow, her mind racing on thoughts of Stefan. She knew that he couldn't be okay, indebted to Klaus the way that he was but she also wasn't sure what she could do to make things better, every avenue that she tired, every lead that she attempted to follow came up empty until that one phone call- the one that had wrecked her and put her in the place that she currently was.

"Stop looking for me." Was all he had said when she had answered the phone. No explanation, no I love you, no I miss you, no anything but a snarled out stop looking that made it feel like her heart had been crushed into a million pieces. Reaching down to set the cup of coffee on the floor next to the couch she shifted, trying to curl herself into a tighter ball, teeth sinking deeper into her bottom lip. She knew that she worried everyone, she didn't care. It wasn't until a sharp knock on the front door drew her attention that she realized just how much time had passed and Damon hadn't come home. Grunting softly she forced herself to her feet, the blanket dragging on the ground behind her as she made her way towards the door.

"What?" She snapped, yanking the front door open without looking. Caroline cocked an eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest as she regarded her best friend.

"What do you mean what?" She snapped back, pushing past Elena into the foyer, her hands dropping the duffle bag that she carried onto the wood floors.

"What are you doing?" Elena questioned instead of answering, glancing from the back to Caroline and back again. She had barely put up with Caroline's need to put up a Christmas tree and she couldn't stand the thought of any more decorations, she wanted to boarding house to reflect her mood and she couldn't do that with all of cheery, sparking items that the blond was known for hanging.

"Damon called and asked me to come stay with you for a few days while he went to take care of something." Elena felt sick to her stomach as she realized that that meant that Damon wouldn't be coming back.

"Where did he go?" Elena knew that she was being a bitch but she didn't care as she demanded an answer from her best friend. Caroline pursed her lips, her hands slipping down onto her hips.

"What do you care?" She sassed, "That man has bent over backwards to try and pull your unhappy ass back from the edge for weeks and you've barely acknowledged him. I don't even like the man and I think you should be treating him better than that." She rolled her eyes, "I mean come on its Damon, but he's doing his damnedest to make things up to you because it's his fault that Stefan left and you can't even acknowledge that all you do is sit there in your 'woe, woe is me, poor little Elena world.'" Turning on her heels Caroline reaching down to grab her bag before quickly disappearing up the stairs, her vampire speed making it so that Elena only had to blink and she was gone. She stood there unable to move in the foyer as she thought about what Caroline had said, the harsh words of her best friend echoing in her head. Had she really been that bad? Closing the door, feeling slightly dejected Elena made her way up the stairs towards Stefan's room and her cell phone. The small electronic device was still plugged into the charger on the nightstand, she didn't carry it often anymore.

Thumbing through her contacts she looked for Damon's name, her thumb hesitating before hitting the call button. The first time it went to voicemail after a dozen rings. The second time- same thing. Finally on the third call it went straight to voicemail after the first ring- the phone had been turned off. Sucking in a shuddering breath she wanted to chuck the phone across the room, but then it was buzzing in her hand, a new message lighting up the screen.

 _Looking for Stefan-_

 _I'll be home when I have him_

Her heart squeezed in her chest as she stared at those words. Damon didn't want Stefan home, she knew that with every fiber of her being and yet he was out there, looking for the one person that he despised all because of her. She swallowed, sitting down on the edge of the bed as his words from the night before kept repeating themselves in her head over and over again.

 _"When you love someone you do anything for them."_

Sucking in a sharp breath her eyes grew wide as she realized what that meant. She had heard Damon say that he loved her before, she had heard it a dozen times before but she always assumed that it was because of Katherine, that it was the resemblance- that if he couldn't have her that Elena would do. She felt horrible, her heart thudding furiously in her chest. If she ever needed proof that Damon loved her then that was it.

 _Busy right now-_

 _When I have an update I'll let you know._

In that moment while she wanted Stefan home, she wanted Damon home too and she didn't know what that meant for everything anymore.


	3. Icicles

**Merry Christmas Darling**

 **Chapter 3- Icicles**

 **You are an icicle (you are an icicle, warmth of the season can't melt)**  
 **You are an icicle (you are an icicle, coldest that I've ever felt)**

 **And I know, how it feels, to be facing the frost on your own**  
 **This is the last time(this is the last time)**  
 **I let the winter have its way with me- Punchline**

Twenty four hours later and Elena felt ready to rip out her own hair. She hadn't heard from Damon since the day before, since the text promising to let her know when he had figured anything out. She groaned and collapsed back onto the bed behind her. She wasn't sure where Caroline was, she knew the blond vampire was in the house somewhere but since the tongue lashing from the usually stoic woman she hadn't seen her. Letting out a few choice swear words she rolled onto her stomach, her head resting on her arms, her mind running a mile a minute. She was angry and worried, a strange mixture that she wasn't quite sure how to deal with. Damon was the bad guy, he was supposed to be the bad guy, he had always been the bad guy-

Then why did she feel like he wasn't the enemy anymore. Her heart clenched in her chest as she thought about it, the words that he had said to her two days before repeating themselves over and over in her head until she felt like she would be sick. She knew that Stefan was supposed to be her focus, knew that she should be worried about him- but Damon had taken up residence in her thoughts and he wasn't letting go.

 _"It's because you are the woman that I love that I will do anything and everything that I can to fix this."_

Swearing again she grabbed a pillow from above her head and chucked it across the room, the act of violence, of helplessness not helping in the least. Curling onto her side she drew her legs up to her chest, wishing she could squeeze her eyes shut and everything would go back to the way that it was-

She missed Stefan, nobody could deny that but she found herself craving Damon's presence, found herself needing him around. She took in a deep breath as she curled in more on herself, Damon's scent surrounded her, the soft sheets on his bed still held the smell of his cologne and what she was coming to identify as just pure Damon. Damon had said that he was a selfish man for feeling the way that he was feeling, for acting the way that he did- but the more that she thought about it the more that she realized that it wasn't so much of a selfish personality- he loved whole heartedly, he was a protector, a man that was willing to put the people that he loves in front of everyone else at the expense of anybody else so long as it meant that it could keep his loved one safe. She took another deep breath, her eyes fluttering closed. She wanted to be angry, wanted to not feel that way towards Damon, wanted to still see him as the bad guy- it was so much easier when she had thought that he was the bad guy and couldn't see the person that he really was.

"What are you doing in here?" Caroline asked from her spot leaning against the frame of the door, her arms folded across her chest.

Elena opened her eyes and cocked her head to the side looking over at her best friend.

"What do you care?" She questioned back instead of admitting that she was in Damon's room because it's where she felt closest to him, that she needed him to be around.

"It's just kinda strange that your so gung-ho about Stefan but you're not in his room trying to be close to him instead you're in his brothers room trying to do lord knows what?" Elena rolled her eyes, pursing her lips again. She was getting really annoyed at her hypocritical friend.

"You know what," She began sitting up, feeling like herself slightly, "why don't you just leave. You can't say one positive thing, all you do is bitch and I just don't want you here anymore."  
Caroline narrowed her eyes.

"Excuse me?" She demanded. Elena snorted and slid off of the bed, channeling her inner Katherine, that inner bitch that had once been the bane of Caroline's existence.

"You heard me. None of this is even Damon's fault and yet you're willing to let him take all of the blame because it means that you don't have to feel guilty about the fact that _your_ boyfriend is the problem and that Damon was saving your ass." She squared her shoulders a little more, her chin jutting up as she regarded the blond, "you just need to go." And then she turned and walked into the bathroom, unwilling to look at the other girl anymore- she didn't want to hear the self-righteous bullshit from her anymore. When the door to the bathroom closed behind her she leaned heavily against it, her chest heaving as the words that she had just said repeated themselves in her head. She wasn't sure where they had actually some from but the more that she thought about it the more that she knew that it was right. None of what had happened had been Damon's fault, he was just trying to do what he did best- take care of everyone else no matter what the cost to himself. She fished in her pocket for her cell phone, hoping that in the time that it took her to apparently rip her best friends head off that Damon had gotten ahold of her, that she had missed a text from him. She knew that that wasn't the case, she had turned the ringtone as loud as she possibly could. Swiping her thumb across the screen she pulled up her text messages, stared at the screen a moment before she finally typed out a message.

 _I know you're doing this for me; but it should be something that we're doing together._

 _Please come home._

When she left the bathroom Damon's room was void of the annoying blond and she couldn't hear her further in the house. Taking back up position on his bed she curled her legs back up into her chest, her phone laying on the covers next to her.

She wasn't sure how long after she sent the text that it took her to fall asleep, all she knew was that when she woke up it was dark. She swallowed as she stretched, her senses picking up on the other presence in the room before her eyes caught up with her.

He was home.

His scent was stronger in his bedroom then it had been earlier, the musk that was just pure Damon. Bolting into an upright position her eyes scanned the room, looking-

And then there he was, sitting in the corner, his head resting against his fist his eyes closed. She couldn't explain it, but just seeing him, just knowing that he was home felt like a promise that everything was going to be okay.

"It's very rude to stare." He quipped, the corner of his lips curling up slightly, not bothering to open his eyes. Elena laughed softly, shaking her head.

"I didn't think you'd actually do it, that you would actually come home."

Damon shrugged and opened his baby blues, stretching himself.

"Eventually Elena, you'll learn that I keep my word, whether that word is good or bad." He smirked and sat up a little bit more. "Besides I'm already done with what I needed to do." He shrugged and nodded towards the door to the bedroom. "Princess is in his bedroom sleeping off whatever Klaus did to him…" He shrugged again and pushed himself to his feet, all traces of a smile leaving his lips as he turned serious, "Now if you don't mind, I'd kind of like my bed back to myself, the doors over there." Elena wasn't sure why him telling her to go hurt so much, but it did. Nodding numbly she walked out of his bedroom, trying not to flinch when the door closed behind her- completely dismissing her. Drawing in a few deep breaths she leaned against the wall just outside of Damon's bedroom and closed her eyes. She should be ecstatic, Stefan was home, Damon was okay- everything was right with the world… so why did it feel like it was all wrong?

 **A/n-this chapter has been done for quite some time i just haven't had the means of uploading it. This story will be 12 chapters in total and i am thinking form this point forward i am going to try and post two chapter a day so i came make it so that all of them are up by Christmas day. Either way this story will be finished before the end of the year. As always thank you to everyone that read, reviewed, favorited and followed, they mean the world to me. Until tomorrow.**


	4. I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus

**Chapter 4- I Saw Daddy Kissing Santa Claus**

 ** _I saw Daddy kissing Santa Claus_** ** _  
Underneath the mistletoe last night  
Saw spots of green and red  
Get these thoughts out of my head  
I wish that I'd rolled over  
and gone back to sleep instead_**

 _ **Not that there's anything wrong with that**_

 _ **I saw Daddy tickle Santa Claus**_  
 _ **Underneath his beard so snowy white**_  
 _ **I couldn't make a noise**_  
 _ **Yeah, who would've thought that he liked boys?**_  
 _ **It seems that he's much further in the closet than my toys- Standstill**_

Damon leaned his head against the door the moment after he had closed it _ **,**_ his hands clenching into fists. He knew that it was going to be torture for him to bring Stefan home, knew what he was getting himself in to and when he did it in the first place and yet he had still done it- had still willingly ripped his head out of his chest just to keep the woman that he loved happy. Hell he would willingly sell his soul if it mean that she would keep a smile on her face- something that he felt pathetic for. Flexing his hands he resisted the urge to bury his fists into the unforgiving wood of the door over and over again. This was why he didn't want to love; why he always wanted to turn everything off- make it so that he couldn't feel a damn thing. He felt like he stood there for hours, wishing that everything that he was feeling would just go away- he needed it to go away.

Pushing back from the door he reached up to pinch the bridge of his noise, feeling what he could only describe as a migraine coming on. He had sworn in the beginning that he would do anything for the insipid woman, that even if it meant pain for himself he would still make sure that she had what she needed but even then it didn't make it any easier on his own heart.

Damon swore under his breath, turning to look around his bedroom, wishing with every ounce of his being that he didn't know what it would look like to have Elena on his bed, to know what her hair would look like sprawled out across his covers. He swore again, turning to face the door once more, needing to get away from all of it, needing to not be able to see it anymore, he was done mentally torturing himself. Elena was happy again, she had what she needed- it was time to move on, it was time to let go.

Tugging open his bedroom door he started down the hallway towards the stairs, determined to get a drink before he started on his way out of town- what he wasn't planning on was nearly tripping over Elena in the hallway, her back to the wall just outside of his bedroom, her legs stretched out in front of her.

"Elena?" He questioned, looking over her, "are you okay?" She snorted softly and held up the bottle that he hadn't noticed sitting next to her on the floor, the crystal decanter only half full of his favorite amber liquid when he was sure that it had been full the last time that he had seen it.

"I'm peachy." She slurred softly, her head thumping back against the wall. He cocked an eyebrow, stepped over her legs before sinking down onto the floor next to her, taking the bottle from her hands.

"What happened?"

Elena snorted a very un-lady like snort and reached over him to take the bottle back again, taking another long draw before she glanced over at him.

"Didn't you hear?" She hiccuped, the sound sending her into a fit of giggles, "my boyfriend is home and he doesn't even want to fucking be here!" She snored again, collapsing forward slightly as she started to laugh even harder, the bottle in her hand tilting until it was sloshing over the side and dripping on the floor. "He fucking went with Klaus because he wanted too not because he was forced too." Dropping the bottle on the floor she let herself sway slightly before she was leaning against him, another hiccup escaping her lips, "Fucking relationship with Klaus." Damon wasn't quite sure what Elena was talking about, he had had to fight tooth and nail to get the other man home until he finally shot the blond full of vervaine and dragged him home.

"Come on you can't be sure that he doesn't want to be here Elena." He tried to reassure her but she didn't want to hear it, instead she growled, picked up the bottle off of the floor and drained the last little bit that was in the bottle.

"Boyfriend." She slurred a little more, lulling her head to the side to look at him, "Klaus is the fucking boyfriend." She snored again before giggling, "He told me," she hiccuped, "He fucking told me himself. Here I am thinking the worst and he's shaking up with the Ken wanna-be. Fucking sucking on his tongue in the damn living room" Damon furrowed his brows, not sure whether Stefan was saying it just to get away from Elena or not- the entire thing wasn't making sense. Part of him wanted to be happy- his brother being with Klaus-even if he was with a completely lunatic- meant that Elena was single again and as much as that was killing her it gave Damon an in, but in that same breath his chest ached as he thought about what Elena was going through, "I should be furious…" she laughed harder, flipping onto her back and resting her head down on Damon's lap, completely oblivious to the wide eyed look that Damon gave her when her head came into contact with his groin. "Hell I should be hurting but I don't- I feel almost relief… Does that make me a really bad person?" He opened his mouth to answer but she didn't let him, instead continuing on with her almost insane ramble, "because I mean there you were and you did everything for me even when you didn't need too and you smell so good and I just," she whimpered, her eyes closing, her head closing so she could press closer to his stomach, sucking in a deep breath. "I'm so fucking confused!" Damon smiled faintly, slipping his fingers back through her hair as her drunken rambling continued on wards. He wasn't sure what to say on the subject of Stefan and Klaus, he was sure that there was more behind the story then what Elena was hearing and that everything wasn't what it seemed but in that moment he didn't care- the only thing that mattered to him was the brunette who was currently nuzzling his lower stomach.

"Uh Elena?" he questioned when she slipped her freezing cold hands up under his shirt, settling them down just above his hip bones.

"I saw daddy kissing Santa Claus." She giggled drunkenly, singing softly under her breath before she was closing the distance between her lips and Damon's stomach. "You really smell good," she hummed, her mouth brushing along the skin with each word that she spoke. Damon growled, gritting his teeth as he reminding himself over and over again why it was a bad idea to be letting Elena touch him the way that she was, why he needed to stop her because she wasn't in her right mind, didn't know what she was doing and would hate him in the morning when she came to her senses. "Do you taste good?" And then her tongue was sliding along the skin and Damon was swearing under his breath, his fingers tightening in her hair and tugging her away from his skin- he was no saint but he couldn't take advantage of when she was drunk. Her eyes grew wide as she looked up at him before she was licking her lips and smiling. "You do." Came her conclusion and then she reaching up to touch Damon's cheek, stroking over the skin. "You're a good man. Why- you should be happy you deserve happy." Damon shook his head sadly and slipped his hands under Elena's legs, getting steadily to his feet, her body cradled to his chest. He was silent for a moment as he turned and walked Elena into his bedroom, settling her onto his bed, her eyes lulling closed.

"people like me don't get happily ever after," He murmured pulling the blankets up over her as her breathing started to even out, "we live and hope that any feelings are returned for however briefly it is before we move on and start the whole process over again." Elena snorted softly, her voice scratchy with sleep.

"Yeah well I love you." She murmured before turning in onto her side, curling herself closer into the blankets, her hands clutching the material to her chest as she settled into a drunken slumber, never knowing the absolute hell she had caused in Damon's mind with just those few words.

 **A/n- As always thank you to everyone that read reviewed, favorited and followed, they mean the world to me. This chapter was a fun one to write (I'm pretty positive that most people didn't see the twist with Stefan coming- and yes the song actually exists). Next two chapters should go up tomorrow (hopefully if everything goes according to plan). Until next time happy reading.**


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